Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think my moral compass just broke
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