i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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