i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I enjoy the company of your penis
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