I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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