I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
