He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
