he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
