omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I pour the whiskey from now on
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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