hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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