just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She told me I should be a condom model.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
