did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
