we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
