I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
