i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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