you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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