He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
this beer tastes like vomit already
it was like eating out sand paper
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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