Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
