You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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