You work out of a Hotel?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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