Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize