Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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