Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
