I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
