I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
