Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
