Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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