Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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