It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
