ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
