My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
