i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
