I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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