What a fucking waste of an outfit
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
