I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
