he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
