ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
