Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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