What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize