Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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