Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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