um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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