god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize