I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
