New invention idea: vibrating tampons
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
