i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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