When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
