Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
smell my finger.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
