You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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