do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
