Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
