My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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