i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
