I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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