I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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