My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
