dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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