I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
