peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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