We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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