do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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