drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
