OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Randomize
