Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm jealous of your bromance
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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